Twenty five years since my going forth,
and no peace of awareness
— not a finger-snap's worth —
Having gained no oneness of mind,
I was wracked with lust.
Wailing, with my arms upheld,
I ran amok from my dwelling —
"Or... or shall I take the knife?
What's the use of life to me?
If I were to renounce the training,
what sort of death would I have?"
So, taking a razor,
I sat down on a bed.
And there was the razor,
placed ready to cut my own vein,
when apt attention arose in me,
the drawbacks appeared,
at an even keel:
With that, my heart was released.
See the Dhamma's true rightness!
The three knowledges
have been attained;
the Awakened One's bidding,